How to Create Great Questions That Get You Closer to What You Want

Questions are the highway to your brain.

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Questions I’ve been asking myself almost killed me.

  • Why me?
  • Why does no one like me?

Blaming the world for my failures was easier than taking responsibility.

That dampened my creativity because I only asked questions to pity myself, never to look for a solution to my problems.

Now I query my brain like I query ChatGPT.

  • how can I improve myself so that people will like me?
  • what are the questions worth asking myself?

Questions free your creativity.

And creativity means more than art or writing – it’s all about living. If you’re alive, you’re creative.

Use that feature by crafting questions that’ll lead you to your goals.

Here is how to know which ones are helpful and which ones are not.

What to Avoid

Let’s start with what we don’t want.

Clearly, no negative self-talk.

It’s old and useless. By negative self-talk, I mean all that “why me” stuff. It doesn’t matter why you. What matters is what you can learn from what happened to minimize the chances of that happening again.

Another one to watch out for is forcing limiting self-beliefs.

We all have that small demon telling us we’re worthless, even in our glory days. But that’s one thing. Another thing is feeding the demon with questions that remind you about those limits.

The last one is the fixed mindset.

It’s crippling. When you start learning a new skill, you’re not good at it. You don’t know how to do it. Questions focusing on why it’ll stay that way are blocking you from changing. It’s okay to start and learn along the way.

Below I give you examples of wrong questions and why I consider them so.

Why am I so afraid?

The line is always thin, but try to avoid suggesting the answer.

Especially when it comes to questions about “why.” Why you’re good or why you’re bad. You’ll generate answers for both. Your brain can make things up, just like ChatGPT.

Ask yourself why you’re worthless, and you’ll get an answer.

What if I lack something to succeed?

Vague questions cause your brain to melt.

There are so many possibilities. You definitely lack something. But you should focus on what you have.

How can you use what you have to get what you want?

Am I happy?

Yes or no, and other closed questions are boring.

The answers are not helpful. Are you happy? If yes, then great. If not, great too.

What can you do to be happy?

Or better, how can you live without expecting happiness and still enjoy life?

Dig into These Questions

If you’ll remember one thing from this piece, take this: create questions that use the generative power of your brain to achieve your goal.

They come in many shapes, most often as open-ended questions. The goal is to spark creativity. Your answers don’t have to be correct.

You should aim at getting a new perspective.

A good question can shift it for you. Changing your point of view gives you access to new possibilities.

Below are my favorite types of questions for you to dig in.


Fixing a problem means you understand it enough to take action.

Questions that help you understand the problem are:

  • What is the cause of this?
  • What are the reproduction steps?
  • What are the consequences of ignoring it?

Your goal with questions is to understand the issue so you can start looking for a solution.

It’s never full knowledge, so don’t try to achieve that.

Once you understand the problem, take action.

  • What is the goal I want to achieve?
  • What are the 5 potential solutions I could use?
  • What are the risks of potential solutions, and how can I address them?

Focus on delivering instead of constantly improving. Life isn’t endless. There are better problems to solve after this one.

When you have a potential solution, break it down into actionable tasks:

  • What is the smallest step I can take now to help solve the issue?
  • How can I break down a solution into actionable tasks?

Let’s break down these questions further, so you can understand how to construct them independently.


Solving problems is nice, but solving the right ones is great.

You can become good at solving problems even if you choose poorly. But you won’t get what you want.

Aligners are here to help.

You need to know what you want to align with:

  • What actions do I take when I feel good?
  • What virtues do I admire in people?
  • What do I want?
  • What are my core values?

Creating lists of things is a great exercise.

You can query your brain to find answers specific to you. Defining your values is helpful because it lets you decide which problems to solve. Your resources are limited. Manage them by focusing on what has the biggest impact.

Once you know your values, you can start looking for the right problems:

  • What bothers me the most?
  • Which problems resonate with me?
  • Which problems could I solve to create the greatest positive impact on the issue I care about?

Knowing your values and finding the right problems gives your life direction. You can follow it. The longer you follow it, the more you will discover along the way.

How can you know if you’ve chosen the right things? You’ll feel meaning in life.


It’s easy to find the first solution to a problem and go for it.

Most people do that. It works like our medical care—it only hides the symptoms. The underlying issue stays there.

To find ways to solve the root cause, you need diggers.

Not gold diggers, but the questions that will make you think about the problem more deeply:

  • What alternative solutions are there?
  • What potential obstacles might arise while solving the problem?
  • What assumptions am I making?
  • What are the root causes of this problem?

The point is not only to solve your problems but also to avoid creating new ones.

Investigate why the problem occurred, so you can prevent it from happening again:

  • Why did this problem occur?
  • What were the warning signs?
  • How can I monitor what’s happening to detect the problem in the future?
  • How can I prevent the problem in the future?

Dig deeper than the surface, but don’t get stuck on digging. Dig deep enough to get good enough action to take.

Action Motivators

The true secret of “The Secret” is taking action.

Manifesting your thoughts won’t happen magically, at least not in a way you won’t have to do anything.

There is real magic in getting what you want by doing what you decide to do.

It lies in action. Nothing unexpected. You understand reality well enough if your actions bring you what you want. Congratulations.

So, questions that motivate action are PHENOMENAL.

Most people need more action, not thinking. Some need both. But let’s focus on action.

How can you motivate yourself to take action?

  • Get specific,
  • Start with tiny, easy steps,
  • Think of the cost of not taking action,
  • Think of the outcomes you want to achieve.

I’m not here to tell you to imagine unicorns and rainbows; that never worked for me.

Visualizing the achievement of the end goal may strip you of the motivation to get it. On the other hand, having a clear vision of what you want enables you to get it. It’s like seeing a target when you try to aim your bow. Abstract targets are not visible to your eyes, so you must imagine them to aim.

But instead of seeing yourself succeeding, focus on the actions you must take:

  • What is the smallest step I can take now to help solve the issue?
  • How can I break down a solution into actionable tasks?
  • What tools and knowledge do I have that I could use to solve the problem?

No matter how great the question looks, what matters is the outcome of the actions taken based on it. So, verify your results after taking the action you came up with after asking the question.

Test Them Out

Testing questions happen on two levels: specific and abstract.

You can simulate a situation where you act based on your questions and see the results. It has its uses, but for me, I always saw failure. My personal beliefs led me to question myself constantly.

So, before you use an abstract approach, test some of the actions specifically—act them out.

Getting data from the real world will help you understand what works. You won’t have to rely on your beliefs. Some of them may prove to be right, while others will be wrong.

The point is not to fully believe your answers, especially if you have thoughts like:

  • I’m a failure.
  • I’m not worthy of love.

The rescue is the old trial and error approach.

By testing out what works, you get results. Each failure and success enrich your experience. In turn, you can use abstract simulation more often.

Combined, these two approaches let you evaluate any question and action. Use it wisely.

Get what you want by doing what you decided to do.

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