Fear is a basic survival mechanism, so let’s use it
Fear is unpleasant.
That’s why we avoid it. It was my reason never to risk and try new things.
It turned out that all those fears I avoided compounded and attacked me when I wasn’t looking.
So, instead of being afraid of public speaking or publishing online, I feared life itself. It didn’t bode well.
But now you can read this, which means I conquered fear. I discovered that you could use fear to find the greatest opportunities in life. Let me explain.
Fear is an Amazing Guide
Every time I had to do something new, I was paralyzed.
Usually, after I tried, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. When I wanted to publish my first article, I thought it’d be a disaster. I did, and because of that, I’m still posting. Writing online opened my eyes to what I want to do in life.
Fear always shows up when you face an opportunity.
Now I have a good explanation for why it works like that. The unknown itself represents what we don’t know. Everything we want and not yet have must be taken from there. Simply because what you know is not enough. Going there is dangerous because there is no way to predict what’ll happen.
So, the unknown makes us scared, but it also gives us opportunities to learn.
Fear is the price we pay to transform the unknown. That’s what you’re doing when you start learning without prior experience. And there is no way around it.
To ever learn, you must go where you never were before. Fear will show you the way.
It’s Okay to Feel It
Fear is a basic survival mechanism.
But we already know that. What matters is that it’s here to stay. There is no way to numb it without numbing all feelings. And from my experience with alcohol, that’s a terrible idea.
I have one important rule when it comes to things I can’t change, and it’s accepting them.
For many years I fought wars with my feelings. I didn’t want to feel like an empty vessel, so I was angry at myself for feeling that. When I was anxious, I complained about my fragility. And when fear came, I was powerless.
All because I resisted what had already happened.
You experienced it when you told someone how you felt, and they told you that you shouldn’t feel like that. We’re silly when it comes to feelings. But if you feel something, there is no should or shouldn’t. You did, end of the story.
The worst you can do is judge your feelings.
That’s why accepting fear is crucial in life. Fear plays a significant role in our success because it always shows up when we face a new opportunity.
Dealing With Fear – Crashcourse
My battle with fear is also my life’s most significant victory.
It’s about sobriety.
Three years ago, I wouldn’t believe I could stay sober for a month. And the reason was immense fear. I was afraid of my feelings. In addition, I feared rejection because all my friends were drinking.
How could I pull it off when a thought about sobriety made me anxious?
The key lies in that question. What I did was present myself with the fear of never drinking again all at once. It was too big to handle. I knew I had to stop drinking, but imagining all those sunny days on the beach without a cold one was not helping.
Instead, I took it one day at a time.
It was easier to promise myself, “I’ll stay sober today.” That bite-sized load of fear was manageable. Day by day, I faced it and won. Today it’s the 1167th day I’ve been sober. I no longer want to drink.
Now, I have no fear when I imagine a day on the beach.
I was on the beach. I listened to the sound of waves, people chatters, and birds. The wind was cooling down my skin while the sun warmed me up. I read Brandon Sanderson’s book, and when I got tired of reading, I talked with my girlfriend.
It was phenomenal.
Face the fear on your terms. Adjust the steps so the amount of fear is manageable. Keep going, day after day. Each step prepares you to deal with fear better.
Final Thoughts
I was lucky that life gave me opportunities to understand my feelings.
Fear is one of those that shaped me. At first, I was a shy, closed person who did everything to avoid fear. Now I’m using it as my guide. On some days, I’m still overwhelmed by fear.
On those, I do what works best; I ground myself by spending time with people I love.
I go for a long walk with my girlfriend. When we start, I’m silent, but with every step, my mood brightens. In the middle, we’re talking, and in the end, I know everything will be fine.
Accepting and using fear will make you unstoppable on the way to success. Because if you can act despite the fear, you get out of your way.
Do you sometimes wonder how your life would look if you could get what you wanted?
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